Monday, May 28, 2012

Operation Play MORE

Hey Cheesers!  Miss Sarcasm here with our newest theme:  Playing.  See my original post on this topic here.


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I had a realization a few days ago.  An epiphany, if you will.

 I don't play anymore.  


When did I stop playing?  When did I stop running through the rain and playing Ghost in the Graveyard and doing barefoot cartwheels in the neighbors' lawns?  When did I go from playful and lively and young, to tired and boring and jaded?
I may be 34 years old.  I may be a momma and wife and full time employee.  But I'm also a girl.  A girl who used to grab life by the balls and run frantically whenever someone yelled, "it's the cops! Play it cool!" whilst jumping fences and hiding in closets.  I miss that girl.  I miss being carefree and de-stressed and vivacious.
So I did what most normal people do and I took to the Twitter.  #operationplaymore was born.  I'm on day 3 of Operation Play More and I have accomplished the following so far:
1. Swinging as high as I can on a swing set.  High enough to get that tickly tummy feeling that makes you laugh out loud.  It was awesome!2.  Playing on a playground going up and down slides.3.  Swimming in a pool and floating in a pool for hours. 4.  Tree climbing.  That's hard stuff there y'all.  I'll have to keep practicing.5.  Re-mastering the sommersault.  So. Much. Fun.  It seems scary at first, but trust me.  Just fling yourself the fuck over and go for it.  Protect your neck though.  We're not getting any younger.  Tuck and roll baby. 6.  Re-mastering the running man.7.  Online karaoke.  Sober too. 

All this playing in just three days.  And I've noticed something you guys.  I feel....lighter.  I'm smiling more.  And I'm not even drunk or medicated.  I'm just feeling more...dare I say it.... carefree and immature. 


Feels effing good.


Up next?  Jumping in a lake fully clothed.  Flying a kite.  Pulling the bike out.  Maybe some middle of the night trespassing and star-gazing....


So join me, will you?  Link up below and become a part of Operation Play More.  Because life is hard.  Life can suck.  Being a grown up can be a HUGE fucking bummer.  We need to play more y'all.  Hard.


Take pics, videos, write posts, tweet it up (#operationplaymore). 
What are you doing to PLAY MORE??




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If you have a great story about playing, send it to us at cheesybloggers@gmail.com so we can showcase your piece here for our current theme.



Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Ew ew ew ew ew. EW.

Our dear friend Sherilin had a VERY bad experience in the movie theatre.  Which of course she felt obliged to share with us.  And of course we said we'd post it.  Because, apparently, we'll post anything.  Regardless of how disturbing it is. 

And have you got a movie story of your own?  Email it to CheesyBloggers@gmail.com and we'll post it.  Seriously.  Because it seems we have no limits.   

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have i got a movie story for you!


when i was 21 (a lot of my stories seem to have happened around that time. they were sort of my glory days. i did lots of stupid stuff that makes for great story fodder, but i would never want to live it again.) i went to a movie theatre with a girlfriend to see "Dead Man Walking." if you haven't seen it, there's a link to the trailer, but essentially, it's the story of a convicted murderer on death row & a nun who is his spiritual advisor. it is a sad drama.

the movie had been playing for at least half an hour. there weren't many people in the theatre because it had been out for quite a while and it was a weekday. then a man came in & sat down 3 seats away from me. it seemed odd to me that with all the empty seats in the theatre, he'd chosen to sit with just 2 empty chairs between us. it was also odd that he'd come into the movie so long after it had started. other than thinking those two things, i didn't pay any attention to the man.

a few minutes later, i got the feeling that i was being watched. i glanced over & saw that he was staring at my legs. both myself and my friend were wearing shorts & we had our feet up on the empty seats in front of us and that man was very clearly & openly looking at our legs. i nudged my friend and pointed at him. at that time in our lives, we were used to getting checked out by men, so it didn't strike us as surprising, just tacky to be so obvious about it.

shortly after that, i noticed movement out of the corner of my eye and peeked toward him again. there was movement in the region of his lap. i was elbowing my friend & whispering frantically that i thought the dude was handling himself. she wasn't shy at all about turning to stare straight at him to determine if i was right. and sure enough, he wasn't just handling his business, he had pulled it all the way out.

we were pretty shocked to be sitting in a sad movie in a public theatre and to have a man sitting beside us, spanking his monkey. we didn't know what we should do. we would have had to climb over him to get to the aisle or else climb over a seat to get into a different row and neither of those options seemed good, so we just sat there, unable to even notice what was happening on the big screen because we had our own drama unfolding right in our row.

we started saying "gross!" and "dirty old man" in loud whispers, hoping that would make him leave. it didn't. we put our legs down and tucked them under us so he wouldn't be looking at them anymore, but still he kept up his obviously pleasurable activities. we started hissing out phrases more loudly, like "that's disgusting!" or "put your nasty thing away, no one wants to see that!" it seemed as though our complaining was adding to his enjoyment and before too long, his head was thrown back and his pace increased until it was finally over. then he looked straight at us and grinned, adjusted his pants and left.

we were very relieved when he left. the movie had climaxed along with the man and we were just waiting for it to be finished so we could go out & shriek about what we'd just seen. unfortunately, that's when a different man came in & sat in the same seat that had just been vacated by the first perv. we could hardly believe our eyes when he sat right down, and whipped out his meat wrench with no hesitation or warning and started petting it.

this guy looked nothing like the first guy. they were at least 30 years apart in age, different races and dressed in such a way that they appeared to be from very different socio-economic groups. we couldn't figure out how it could happen once during our movie watching experience, but twice was just too much to comprehend.

we'd had more than enough by then & we started talking loudly; gesturing toward him to try to draw the attention of the others in the theatre. it worked and he didn't stay long before he zipped up & skeedaddled out of there.

once the movie was over, we carefully stepped over the puddle on the floor in front of the dirty dude's seat & raced out to our car, terrified that we'd be followed. we made it home safely, but were left with a story we can never forget.
 
 
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K, Sherilin.  I have some advice for the 21-year-old you:
 
NEXT TIME SOME GUY STARTS DOING... um.... THAT NEAR YOU? 
 
JUST LEAVE. 
 
Simply get up, and walk out. 
 
Then tattle on him. 
 
Leave.  Then tattle.  Two simple steps. 
 
Sheesh. 
 


Saturday, May 19, 2012

Movies are ass buckets

In honour of the upcoming Chicago twitter movie night (which you still have to vote for, by the way, over there on the side panel thingie), I have posted one of my archived posts about movies. 

Not just movies in general, but stupid effing movies that confuse the shit out of my little brain because they're effing STUPID

Bah. 

If you have a movie story, email it!  Like, now.  I want to hear it.  Please.  And thank you. 


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Hubby and I went to a movie with friends on Friday night.  There were a couple of film-viewing options. 

Option one: Limitless

I'd never heard of this movie, so, obviously, I had no interest in seeing it. 

It stars that guy who was in that movie with Scarlett Johansson.  You know the one.  He and Scarlett meet in a grocery store and have an affair.  I don't know the name of it, but he was really sexy.  Despite the fact that he was a cheating asshole.

Anyway, Limitless stars him - Sexy Guy.  Except with longer, curlier hair.  His character gets addicted to a drug that makes him exceptionally smart. 

I would have rather watched our second option: The Adjustment Bureau, with Matt Damon.  Because Matt Damon trumps everyone.  Except maybe Leo.  

So naturally, us girls wanted to see the Matt Damon flick.  But the boys wanted to see Sexy Guy (my name, not theirs) get all hopped up on the smart drug. 

Rock-Paper-Scissors. 

Suckers!  We win!  Matt Damon, here we come. 

But then my gal-friend totally stabbed me in the back.  Somehow she talked me into being a good person (wtf?) so I bought tickets for the smart drug movie.  Just to surprise them, she said.  What a traitor!  At least Sexy Guy was in it... 

I guess it wasn't bad, but I gave up when Sexy Guy drank another drug addict's blood to get his fix.  Gross.  

In the end, I wish we'd seen that one with Jake Gyllenhaal instead.

"I think it's called Unstoppable" I said.

"Really? Isn't Unstoppable just like Speed... except on a train?"

"No, no. It's not the train that's unstoppable, it's fate that's unstoppable.  Jake repeatedly travels back in time to the same train accident to save his girlfriend."

"Oh, that sounds better.  Like Groundhog Day on a train."

"Yeah."

But it turns out I was totally wrong.  As usual.

I guess I don't actually know the title of the Jake Gyllenhaal movie.  Someone told me I was confusing it with a Denzel Washington flick with the same premise - time travel to solve a train bombing. Unstoppable, I was told, is exactly like Speed.

But THEN I noticed that Unstoppable is listed on my Rogers Cable, and it stars Denzel.  Without Jake Gyllenhaal.

So NOW I'm really effing confused and you can't trust me with any basic movie knowledge whatsoever.

UPDATED:

Turns out that the interwebs are pretty good at answering random questions. 

I just found this picture.  Sexy Guy is Bradley Cooper and he was in He's Just Not That Into You with Scarlett Johansson. 

And Source Code, with Jake Gyllenhaal, is, in fact, Groundhog Day on a train.

Unstoppable is with Denzel - and yes, it is basically Speed on a train.

There is another Denzel movie called Déja Vu, in which he time travels to find the bomber of a ferry - not a train. 

Hopefully you can follow this mess.  I think I'm still lost. 


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Ass buckets.  So confusing. 

Email us, though, at CheesyBloggers@gmail.com with your best movie story - old or new - and we'll post it!

Also, don't forget to vote for Chicago twitter movie night over there ---> 

(I'm demanding, eh?  Yeah.  Well.  Whatever.)