Saturday, October 8, 2011

She keeps putting "grown ups" in "quotes"

You guys know our friend Carm, right? From A Life Less Ordinary? We love Carmen because she's a hilarious smart ass.  I, in particular. love her because she is a fellow Canadian.  So if you're not already reading and following Carm, I insist that you start.

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Lists aren't my 'thing', k? They are for 'grown ups'.



Lists. I hate ‘em. Not going to lie. It pains me to write a grocery list actually. To me, they just seem so DEFINITIVE. It’s as though I can hear them taunting me, teasing me, telling me that if I don’t complete every damn thing on it the world is going to come to an end. Over dramatic, yes, but not too far from the truth. Cheesy Bloggers has decided to make lists their writing prompt this week and while I had made a decision to just read the contributors and not participate the instant I read it, I changed my mind only because I think it is a very 'grown up' thing to work through your short-comings. (This is not an admittance that I have short-comings mind you) And since I am working on this whole ‘grown up’ thing, I might as well actually work on it. See? Progress already. I think a glass of wine is in order as my reward.

I think I can write a list without feeling like I actually have to complete it. Or complete everything on it. Or buy everything on it. Or stress out that I couldn’t remember everything that needs to be on it.Or freak out that I am actually writing it. Or just be damn annoying talking about the stupid mother fucking list.

OBSESS MUCH?!? Nah. I am too 'grown up' for that, remember?

So without further adieu (or unnecessary rambling, you choose) here is my list of “Things that Carmen does not enjoy feeling obligated to participate in:”

1. A game of chess because someone asked politely. Chess is boring. Plus, I never win. I don’t fucking get it.
2. Folding socks. Why won’t anyone else fold the damn things?And why do I even feel obligated to do it? This might take some dissecting.
3. A staff meeting. Don’t make me. I’ll come if I damn well please
4. Camping. Unless it’s complete with an indoor sleeping space and shower. Then, maybe.
5. Board games of any kind. Unless alcohol is involved. Then, maybe
6. Walks. I hate them. Unless alcohol is involved.
7. Family events. As long as the word “obligated” is not used, I’m down. I’m a rebel like that
And the last thing on my list of things that you better not make me feel obligated to participate in?

FUNDRAISERS.



I plan ‘em, I make other people feel obligated to either participate in or donate to, but I tend to only see one side of things (mine) which means I have given myself full permission to get mutha fuckin’ PISSED if it’s done it me. Call me hypocritical, call me selfish, but don’t call me to donate cash. Fair? Shit, I might have regressed a bit here in that whole acting like a 'grown up' thing. And putting 'grown up' in quotations probably isn't a 'grown up' thing to do either. Shit.

Wow. I must say, I feel a little lighter now that I have that whole list thing out of the way. How did I do? Negative responses will not be tolerated. Just sayin’. It wouldn't be 'grown up' of you.

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We love you Carmen!