Thursday, December 8, 2011

She's basically a fugitive

Our crazy friend Carm has apparently had a run-in with the evening news. I'm not particularly surprised. Nutbar. 


Screw you Evening News

I am a rage-a-holic when driving in traffic. With my windows rolled up of course. You won’t hear me actually telling someone off, that’s for brave people. But a rage-a-holic nonetheless.

When I saw that Cheesy Bloggers’ them this week was commuting nightmares, I felt obliged to share my random story only because it’s funny as hell NOW. Maybe not so much then. But those make the best stories, no?

Several years ago I worked in downtown Vancouver but lived about a 45 minute drive outside the city, which in traffic equates to an 18 hour commute. One way. Maybe a slight over exaggeration. Whatever. Anyways, I pretty much drove home in neutral (stick shifts in traffic are THE DEVIL) speed dialing anyone who would answer their cell phone to listen to me vent scream my bloody head off about the stupid crazy-ass mother fuckers who were on the road. I may or may not have chain smoked. But that’s irrelevant.

One day I had to leave work slightly early because my Dad was in the hospital (long-assed story I’ll dive into one day, but he’s OK!) I quickly learned that traffic was actually worse this time of day. Lucky me. Now, I am usually the person sitting in traffic cursing the douche-canoes who weave in and out, make illegal turns and generally make the commute even more difficult for everyone else on the road while mumbling to myself that I wish I had the balls to do it too…but on this day, I did.

So without giving a shit whom I pissed off, I zipped my little car onto the shoulder of a freeway on-ramp and put the petal to the metal. Some days I think I should have been a race car driver. Maybe in another life.

So that night, while lounging at home on my couch and flipping through the channels I managed to catch a news program on angry drivers in traffic. Coincidence? Apparently not.

Right there, front and center on the TV in front of me, was an air-helicopter video of MY CAR performing its douche-canoe move earlier in the day. My only thought? THANK GOD you can’t see me, or my license plate.

Not the actual video footage, just an example of how close the camera WAS to my car.

Funny, but it looked way worse on TV.


Thanks Carm.  I needed this laugh. 


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