Sunday, December 4, 2011

"You are an IDIOT"

Hello there my cheesy friends.  You've got Marianna Annadanna here with this week's theme.

You may know that I have some occassional minor trouble commuting.  Oh, pardon me, what I meant to say is that COMMUNTING IS A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG

Also, you may know that I sometimes have slight difficulty navigating.  Sometimes.  Maybe. 

So, this week I want to hear your brutal commuting stories. Email and I'll post your travel stories! 

Because I need to know I'm not the only one getting lost in my own city.  I need to know I'm not the only one judging crazies on the bus.  I need to know I'm not the only one yelling at mall cops...


From my archives: June 4, 2010

Commuter Chronicles - Eff You, Rent-a-Cop


You may recall that I’ve recently had a wrench thrown into my regular commuting routine. The mall that I park at before taking the bus each morning is no longer (as) supportive of the ‘park and ride’ concept.

So I’ve been walking a little further in the morning (and waiting a little longer between bus pick-ups) to get a route closer to my house.  Fine.

I've still been able to ‘park and ride’ on Thursday mornings, however, because I have an early French class (and there’s more parking spots free at 7 am than at 8). It’s particularly convenient, because I have Yoga on Thursday nights – which is located in the mall. Excellent. So Thursdays still work out as they should.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday, when I started my car, I was horrified at the disgusting sound coming from the engine. Shit. I ran into the house to get Hubby to drive me to the mall (which left me without the convenience of going straight to Yoga after work).

To make my mood even better, a very clever Hubby then says to me: “Oh yeah – I forgot – your car was sounding pretty bad last night.”


What the hell does that mean?

Apparently he drove it the night before, and between our driveway and our living room, he forgot to tell me that it was in pain. What a mental case.

Fine. Whatever.

So he (apologetic) drove me (pissy and pouting) to the mall and pulled up next to the bus station. I jumped down out of the truck onto the curb, only to be approached by another effing rent-a-cop in a security coat.

What the eff do these idiots want NOW?!

I tell ya – I've been quickly losing patience with this shit, and that LAND TROLL picked the wrong goddam day to mess with me.

The conversation went something like this:

Rent-a-cop: “You guys can’t stop here to get out.”
Hubby, as he’s driving away: “Well, I’m gonna!”
Me, staring at her ugly face: “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Rent-a-cop: “No, you can’t stop here!”
Me, as I’m storming off: “Yes I can!”
Rent-a-cop: “Well, I’ll just give you a ticket tomorrow!”
Me: “A ticket?! For WHAT?!”
Rent-a-cop: “For blocking traffic and causing accidents!”

[SIDEBAR: Causing accidents?! In the parking lot? Because we pull over to the side of the curb? These people are effing delusional.]

Me: “Hah! Causing accidents?! What accidents?! You are an IDIOT.”
Rent-a-cop: “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then! Have a nice day!”

I continued to glare at her until my bus came – oh, I glared her down gooood.

That was pretty much the end of it.

AND, on top of all that, I just found out that my car’s AC Compressor is going to cost $1000 to fix.

Damn it.